What to expect in this episode:

1. My life turned out ok – do I have regrets about my path in addiction?
2. I do not regret the path, but I regret every person I bumped into and harmed along the way.
3. I didn’t have values, I was not a good dude. I regret that.

My Regrets

I was speaking to a group of high schoolers and somebody asked me the question, “well for you this all worked out, for your path, so do you regret it?” and I have the same answer now that I had with the high school kid:

I don’t regret that experience, I regret every person I bumped into along the way and influenced their lives poorly;  that I was not a person who made people’s lives around me better and so in that sense I actually really regret it and it wasn’t worth it for me in that sense – but now that I’m not going to beat myself up about that – but if that makes sense.

I think we underestimate the impact we have when we’re in our addictions let me know you know I’m here talking like a ‘made up’ dude but I was not a good dude I was not a good person and I didn’t have values.

I harmed people… I wasn’t evil but I wasn’t fun to have around either and so I have to acknowledge that, there’s a certain reality there…

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What to expect in this episode:

1. Huston Smith Said, “The Self is Too Small for Perpetual Enthusiasm
2. What makes us miserable and stuck as human beings, is that we’re stuck in ourselves
3. Path to Growth is to get out of the Self

The Self is Just Too Small…

Huston Smith has this quote, “That the self is too small for perpetual enthusiasm” It’s a lot of words, but if you think about it, he’s talking about the Path to Growth and the Path to Enlightenment, that what makes us miserable and stuck as human beings, is that we’re stuck in ourselves.

When I’m in myself, thinking about myself, you know 15 hours a day, my needs, my wants, my desires, etc., etc., I’m not happy right.  

He says that the “Path to Growth is to get out of the Self”, right.

Why?

Because I’m just too small to stay jazzed about and if I can’t get into your life, for my kid’s life, for my wife’s life, or my community or the world, well then, I’m stuck, so that little phrase, “The Self is too small for perpetual enthusiasm” always rang true with me.

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Find out if we can help you raise the bottom 

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What to expect in this episode:

1. Recovery is about life, not sobriety
2. Having trouble with life while sober
3. The shift from ‘staying sober’ to living fully

Recovery is Not About Sobriety…

I thought getting sober was about sobriety.

It was like “I have to stay sober, I can’t use, one day at a time no matter what” and what changed for me is that I recognized that recovery is about life.

And how we live life.

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Recovery is not a thing recovery is just ‘how I’m living’. So it evolved from something that was about drugs and alcohol into something that was about life.

And that’s a massive shift.

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What to expect in this episode:

1. Deciding to Send them to Rehab
2. Getting Aligned | Treatment’s Sacred Pact
3. What is My Role in His Recovery?

What can a mother do if her child is suffering with addiction

The first thing that I would say to a mom who’s saying,

“I’m sending my son to your treatment program, what do you have to tell me?”

Right.  Something like that, like somebody who’s right for our Treatment Program.

I would say,

”

“You need to come in and we need to sit down. And we’ve got to make sure that all parties are aligned in this agreement.

“We’ve got to make sure that you’re looking at me in the eyes, that your son is there, and I’m there and when we make this sacred little pact, everybody’s clear, not everybody has to agree completely, people can have different opinions, but that beginning step everybody’s really clear and onboard with what’s happening.”

And I would say,

”

I’m available. I’ll be honest, I don’t know what’s going to happen six months from now.

 I can tell you that I’ll communicate to you very clearly what I see. I can tell you here’s where I think he’s going.  I can tell you here’s what I think he needs. I can tell you here’s where I think he’s stuck.

I can tell you what I think your role needs to be and the most that I could offer you is honest experience in the relationship as well as, the best well-worn techniques to help people transform in this kind of environment.  That’s all anybody can offer by the way and open-mindedness.

I will see your son as your son, not as somebody else, not as a number, not as a patient, I will see your son for who your son is, and I will work with him accordingly.

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What to expect in this episode:

1. Speaking truthfully
2. Don’t be afraid and be compassionate
3. Take care of yourself

How to Communicate with Loved Ones Suffering from Addiction

Be courageous and speak the truth

So, I talked to parents and spouse and brothers and sisters all the time who’s loved ones are suffering from addiction and they’re afraid and they’re also really afraid to speak truthfully to the person who’s suffering, and I would say, obviously to get some help, if you need help doing that, but that it’s about speaking truthfully to people and telling them how it impacts you.

Now if somebody’s deep in addiction they might or might not be able to hear that and you might need a professional to come in and work with that person, but just like I was talking to a mom yesterday, and what I told her was, you can’t be afraid to go away for the holidays and tell your son that you’re not going to bring him, because he almost died from an alcohol overdose and you’re afraid to bring him.

So, you have to tell him, “I love you very much, but I’m afraid to bring you. You know because of your alcoholism.”  So, I think being able to be truthful, compassionate if possible, not losing your temper if possible, I think that’s nice, but being courageous and speaking truth.  And it’s a really painful job that loved ones have because sometimes these addictions span on for years and years, you know.[/vc_column_text]

Get the help that you need

The other thing I would say, is to make sure you’re taking care of yourself, like you’re – you know, you are – you’re engaged with somebody in addiction with this child or something like that, like you’re getting hurt day in and day out, and so you really have to take care of yourself in order just to have the strength that you can be, let alone have those conversations. The final thing that I would say, is to make sure you’re getting the help that you need and speak compassionate truth to the person that you love.

speak compassionate truth to the person that you love

Schedule a 30-min consultation with Yeshaia

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Find out if we can help you raise the bottom 

What to expect in this episode

1. Discovering Your True Authentic Self
2. Who Is Yeshaia? A Father, musician, spiritual counselor
3. Son of Psychologists, Not a Clinician
4. Watching People Transform, Transforms Me
5. Helping Suffering People Move Into Awakeness

A lot of people come for treatment and they get – they feel lost and they say things like, you know, “I want to discover my authentic self”.  And I always tell people, not to worry about that, you know. Don’t worry about discovering your authentic self, discover who you want to be in the world, you know, and you’ll be yourself.[/vc_column_text]